Do you know that feeling?
Do you know that feeling? When things feel just right?
Well I just had one of those moments. I think it would be selfish to keep it to myself. You see, I found out about 7 years ago the best way for me to express myself.
When I moved from California to North Carolina in the humid mosquito summer of 04, I had nothing. Yeah, I had a family, food, and a bed to sleep on but I have to explain what I had in California in order for you to understand why I said “nothing.”
My parents opened a donut shop in the small town of Ukiah. We called it Sunny’s Donuts because my dad’s name is Sunny and he made donuts. : ] Anyways, as far as I can remember we had a donut place. I think we had 3 locations. One was in a the middle of the town next to the movie theaters in an old KFC building. ~As I’m typing this, I am laughing not out loud (lnol)~ That place was the JAM! It was in the center of the town and we had donuts and coffee. I will give you two guesses as to some of our favorite customers were…no not gnomes you silly! COPS!!! I grew up with the Police around and it was awesome.
I remember one time a policeman took me riding with him and I could barely see over the dashboard while the seatbelt rubbed my chin, I told the officer that somebody in the right lane didn’t have their seatbelt on while they were driving. No lie. I will never know but I think he pulled them over and gave them a warning because I obligated him. Needless to say, that is all I remember about that ride which probably means he took me back to my parents immediately because I started writing tickets.
Anyways, it was so awesome having our donut shop there. We gave keys to the Police so when they were on night shift, they would come to the shop and make their own coffee and wait for our baker to make the best donuts in the world. They would hang out until they would get a call then leave what they took in the tip jar. I think that is one of the reason why I love the Andy Griffith show so much, it reminds me of the good ole’ days.
Back to my main point, I had it good because my family had a soon to be popular store in the whole town and the police loved us as well. Within that, I had popularity and security.
—Fast forward—
We moved to another building in a Raley’s Shopping Center. The rent was considerably higher so my parents had to do more than just donuts. Well they knew how to make some good Chinese food so that is where we made a hit with the town. Donuts and Chinese food…can it get any better? Oh you don’t feel like eating Chinese tonight? Oh ok HAVE A DONUT! Oh you don’t feel like having a donut? Well, go away. No no just eat healthier…try our vegetables and rice. In addition to having the best and weirdest combination, we were close to the high school which meant a lot of hungry kids.
Everybody would talk to me in high school. I know I’m an extrovert but I couldn’t tell you how many conversations consisted of what they ate today. Literally, people would walk by me and say Andrew! Guess what I had today? I, with a specific list in my head (S&S Chicken, Sesame Chicken, Teryaki Chicken, etc.) would say, “why I have no idea!” Person would say almost every time one of the three above.
Another thing that I was known for was being my big brother’s little brother. All you people out there with older popular siblings know exactly what I’m talking about. But my brother did something cool. He charged the class below him to take care of me since he was graduating as I was coming in as a freshman. This meant, I was invited to almost every senior party and so on.
So yeah…I had it good.
Then all of the sudden, I find myself in a small town called Kings Mountain on a summer night. For the record, there is no mountain. none. absolutely none. Oh wait, there is Crowder’s Mountain. I say…………”…” …….I went to Appstate.
Moving on, so here I found myself scratching all of my mosquito bites. I swear, I got at least double digit bites on each leg from the car to the house. I remember one day having nothing to do, I thought of all that I had and saw that now I have nothing. As you can see from above, this nothing was quite profound.
A year before I left Northern California, my parents bought me a guitar since I promised them I would play it. Ha. But I guess I didn’t lie because I started to learn since I had Nothing else to do. The story goes on…
Years have gone by now and I realize that I can write songs. One of the first sentences I wrote is what I found out about the best way for me to express myself. I write music. It just comes to me.
But let me say this, I believe that writing music is a gift.
You see a gift is given. I believe that this gift was given from God.
I understand if you do not want to read on as you have lost all interest but if you hold just a slight bit of interest, then please read on.
I grew up in a Presbyterian Church. I stood, I sat, I recited, I sang, I stood, then I sat again. I had it down pat. I even took communion and knew what to say at the right times. I was good. I was a Christian. I believed I was and so did others. I was good. I went to Church every Sunday and Wednesday. I was leader of youth group and leader of WWJD. I even ran for Homecoming King representing WWJD. I have proof. There was a point in my life where I had an emotional moment and accepted Jesus into my heart. I stopped cussing and I stopped looking at girls lustfully.
But…
All of that didn’t seem to matter the moment I had Nothing. Sure I was good and I knew how to and when to church. But I knew that if this Christianity was as real as some say it is, then I would never have just NOthing. I would always have something…right?
Well after some toil and self pity, I decided I was going to go to Church for me. In fact, my parents didn’t even go with me. I went here and there until I heard good ole’ Bro. Chip preach. Something was just real. This dust covered book that I have had for quite some time sounded so real when he spoke. I decided from there on I would go there.
I soon realized that although I was a good person, that was not enough. I knew that there was something more instead of just NOthing!
Listen, God stripped me of my glory, fame, and wealth so that he could show me this. “I” could not save myself. No matter what “I” did, it did not matter.
Jesus.
With that, I reveal to you my song given to me by the inspiration of the beautiful love story of God and me. And potentially you…
Played with my wonderful Takamine guitar…
~Here I am~
Here am I
Afraid
I’m so lost
Here am I
—
I AM WHO I AM
Before the world began
I knew you, I know you
I AM WHO I AM
—
Here am I
Arms reached out to noone
Praying, I’m praying
Here am I
—
I AM WHO I AM
Before the world began
I knew you, I know you
I AM WHO I AM
—
Who is this man who died for me?
Why would someone die for me?
What do I have to offer?
This makes no sense, no sense at all.
—
I AM WHO I AM
Before the world began
I knew you, I know you
I AM WHO I AM
—
JESUS
Would you please forgive me?
Would you save me?
Messiah, you are my only hope.
—
I AM WHO I AM
Before the world began
I knew you, I know you
I AM WHO I AM
Yet
I came to the earth
To die for you
To make a way
For you to be near me
I know you
I love you
I died for you
I know you
I love you
I died for you
I died
I rose…I rose…I Rose
I conquered death for you
Sin has no power over you
—
So rise…rise…rise
Come take my hand and walk with me
Please take my hand
and walk with me
—
—
Here I am
Send me
To the ends of the earth
To tell of Your love story.
—
End with guitar of chorus.
~Here I am~
The focus of this song and my story is not “I,” it is I AM.
Until we meet again
AP
